Fine print...

Ottawa is a political town. It is impossible too walk to far without seeing some of the detritus of Canada's political life pushed in your face. Usually you see it, you laugh at it, and move on. Sometimes, it's not quite so easy.

This past week, while undertaking my lunchtime constitutional in stfiling Sahara-heat that is the Ontario summer, I had the following handed to me:

To give some sense of scale: the object in question is roughly 3 inches high by 4 inches long, similar to those that you might see advertising a club show, and first glance the colours suggest a circus, or carnival-type event. On closer viewing, it would appear that it is in fact a political ad, criticizing an as yet (at the time of writing) unreleased tax policy to be proposed by the federal Liberal party of Canada. There are quotes purporting to be a myriad of reviews of the policy, though they are only from something called the "Times and Transcript" (if you've heard of this publication I commend the breadth of your reading) and Sun Media. Indeed, they seem to be reaching the bottom of the review-barrel here. At the bottom there is a link to a website, http://www.willyoubetricked.com/, which is done up in similar colours and has a certain juvenile cleverness.

"Who might have put together this marketing masterpiece?" I asked myself as I skimmed the website. No doubt one of the Liberal competitors...however, there was no immediate "vote for X" indications anywhere. A-ha, a clear rank amateur, I thought - some kind of Madison newbie enjoying beginner's luck. Then I looked back to the card for some evidence and upon closer inspection:

No apologies for quality-further zooming would be pointless. Why? Well, the actual attestation has been smudged so that you can't make it out. Printing error? Doubtful. If you stare at it long enough, you will get an idea of what it is - rather like those 3-d digital drawings that were so popular back in the 90s. I was somewhat taken aback that someone would be ambiguous in establishing their association with this creative masterwork. Seeing as there were so many of these pamphlets littering the downtown, I would have thought that whoever printed them them would want to stand up like a man, given the environmenal sacrifice.

More likely, whoever sponsored this would like to keep their association minimal as it is truly ridiculous. It's so silly as to make any serious dicussion of the issues farcical, . The credibility of the party involved will be eroded, and theirde facto spokepeople will become the talking inkblots on the website. It's a little like George Bush nominating Spongebob Squarepants to be his spokesperson on Iraq (though, this may be an improvement). Certainly, placing them at gas pumps across Ontario will help establish them in our mind's eye.

In any case, as you may have made out by now, this appears to Authorized by an Agent for one of the err...main parties of our venerable democracy. I am pleased to see that they seek to engage the citizenry on the issues in a manner that has all the youth and vigor typical of a college fraternity. Certainly, as an uninformed bumpkin on this controversial issue, I can feel rest assured that before long I will have absorbed enough agitprop to take a stand.

A frictionless, slippery slope,

I am certain that I shock no one when I say that civilization has generally treated the environment with all the care of Vikings at a nunnery. The 20th century, in particular, has seen us taking from the world whatever we feel we need for ourselves, and then viewing the remnant as a convenient wastebasket for what we can't use. One only needs to review the historical record on biodiversity (the passenger pigeon, the dodo, the yangtze river dolphin, the amazon, etc...), air quality, water quality, the ozone layer to get an idea of how well we're doing. To be fair, much of the damage came at a time when we could not conceive of the eventual negative impacts of our action, but we have now reached a stage in our development that we should be applying thorough due diligence as we launch new projects and products. Or, we like to think so.

U.S. Patent # 2,230,654, poly(tetrafluoroethene), has gotten a bit of a bad rap, as of late. Most, would be more familiar with it under its registered trademark name of Teflon, produced by the Du Pont corporation. Invented by accident in the 1930's when a researcher was trying to invent a new kind of CFC refrigerant (I hope the irony here is lost on noone), it has become rather ubiqitous in our culture. Besides covering our cookware to keep our food from sticking when it's being fried, we use it to cover bearings, bushings, computer mice, bullets, most of the Millenium Dome, Gore-Tex, and many others. Generally speaking, it's inertness and low coefficient of friction(the lowest of any known substance) make it an incredibly useful chemical for a range of applications.

That being said, it should be noted that the chemistry of teflon is so complex that many scientists don't quite understand what gives it its special properties. As it has been covered extensively in the news as of late, most people have been made aware that when heated past 500 degrees Celcius (which a typical frying can easily achieve whilst sitting on a burner), Teflon will begin to break down and release chemicals in a gaseous form. In addition to showing up in the blood and tissues of anyone who has ever used a non-stick pan, these chemicals show up in high concentrations in workers from Du Pont's teflon factory, and to a lesser extent in ever man, woman and child in North America. Even polar bears, a species not historically known for frying its catch, have been found to have measureable concentrations in their tissues. The presence of these chemicals in higher concentrations has been linked to increased risk of cancer, hypothyroidism, and in polymer fume fever in very high doses. Amongst our innocent animal colleagues, birds apparently are hypersensitive to teflon-particles - minutes exposures can harm or kill them. This article examines teflon-related health issues in some detail.

Du Pont itself, along with seven other companies who manufacture the product, has itself gradually come around to this point of view, helped on its way by a class-action lawsuit. As I write, it is speedily working to remove all the harmful chemicals from its manufacturing process by....err...2015. However, the intended replacement appears to break and produce petroflourocarbons (PFCs) which have their own, rather nasty, health and environmental effects.

This has become an unsettling refrain that plays frequently through the course of twentieth-century history. DDT pesticides, CFC refrigerants, Bisphenol A - so many products that were found to have great utility that were later found to have unintended, and unfortunate, side-effects as we over- and misuse it and then flush it into the environment.

Anyway, I'm losing focus. The above was really meant as a bit of a preamble...

I was forced to shake my head in frustration recently, while shopping at a Canadian Tire store here in Ottawa. Whilst standing at the checkout, my gaze happened to fall upon the odds and ends of the cashout sale racks, which included the usual collection of batteries, excel gum, stuffed-animal keychains, and this. Yes indeed, it's Motomaster Premium windshield washer fluid with Teflon®! Not only does it melt and remove dirt, ice, grime and grease - it also reduces windshield friction for a cleaner wipe. And if that isn't enough to make you buy, be aware that it reduces chatter (whatever that is) and works perfectly to -45C, making it perfect for those Canadian winters. Truly, a windshield washer fluid for the new millenium.

Of course, little mention is made of what the impact of all that teflon is if it fails to land on your windshield. Issues with the host fluid aside, it strikes me as one of the easiest ways to send teflon into the groundwater table, and subsequently into potable water and the human food chain. I dread to think what the future outcome of hundreds of thousands motorists doing their darndest to make their windshields frictionless with this stuff. It's as if we've chosen to fire a bullet vertically into the air, blissfully refusing to think about the possibility of it ever coming down.

I can't in good faith argue for a complete ban on Teflon - its special properties and uses would make that an unreasonable proposition. My point is intended to address its abuse, over- and misuse.

On the other hand...as Tevya would say....our bodies are already loaded with the results of so many of our shortsighted inventions, what's one more?